Save Me Please
by dplusjluv21
Summary: Alois Trancy is a sexually objectified prostitute working under the New Jersey streets. On a trip to London, he's raped and almost beaten to death by his boss, Claude Faustus. He's rescued by Ciel Phantomhive, a young boy who faces similar emotional trauma. Alois knows he can't fall in love, but he's willing to at least consider his new crush. OOC, AU, yaoi, rape/abuse.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Ok you guys, I have a new obsession with Alois and Ciel. THEY'RE TOO CUTE!Anyway, this is my first chapter book (YAY!), and I'll _try_ to make weekly updates (no promises...jk, I've got CST testing, so I might have some free time to update.)

Chapter 1: The Beginning Of An Adventure [Alois's POV]

"Fuck me like I'm a toy!" I grasp this stranger who's name I don't even know. "Come on! Harder!"

"Gah, you stupid whore!"

It's pounding; deeper, faster, harder, stronger. I can't take it anymore.

"Ah! I'm going to cum!" And with that, I release my semen onto my body along with my latest one-night stand. Speaking of which, the male quickly wipes the sweat off his face, buttons his pants, and digs into his pockets. Out comes the very thing I've given up my body for: money.

"How much do I owe you?"

"Depends on how well I did tonight. Though I must admit, I'm one of the top paid whores in Jersey."

"Is that so?" With that, the man gives me 50 C$'s; from the NCSA, I mean. But he's one of my usuals, sometimes comes either a couple of nights in a row or once a month. I think he's gotten bored of my sexual teases. I _do_ tend to do the same thing; maybe I should spice it up a bit. Once the door closes, I lie on my bed, naked, and cuddle up with the soft cooling blankets.

If you've bothered to read this far, then I must warn you; I tend to be a sexual beast.

But if your interested by all means, read on! My name is Alois M. Trancy, and my first/middle name means "famous warrior". Don't ask me why my parents decided to name me that retched name, I absolutely despise it. In no way would I ever consider myself to be such of a warrior, let alone a famous one. Though, I guess I could be one, considering my bravery after my parent's deaths. But I'd rather not mention them.

I grab the closest pillow on my bed and straddle it onto myself. Apparently my sexual appetite hasn't been fulfilled yet, because my body instinctively bucks with the sudden contact.

"Dammit Alois, haven't you had enough sex for one night?" I mutter. Instead of obeying, my body decides to continue to thrust. I learned this trick when I was around nine or ten, when I would sleep I would hear a stifled moan coming from one child's mouth. That night I turned to see them thrusting their genitals into a white pillow, not really fast, but just hard. He had a hand on his mouth, probably to stop the noise coming from his vocal chords, and then I noticed he stopped. I also noticed that something white splattered the white cotton.

Ten boys. All between the ages of ten and fourteen. All huddled into one big room with bunk beds on every corner. White wooden floors, sliver colored walls, and then the deep and dreary sadness that filled the room. I could sense it when I first came to the estate. I knew something other people in my village didn't. I knew who had been the master mind for several kidnappings going on. How could I, you ask? I was in his very mansion. Earl Trancy, a perverted man with such odd and disgusting fetishes one so old could only have. He would capture pubescent boys and make them his sexual slaves.

Could I escape? No. I tried one time, despite everyone else's warnings, and found myself being electrocuted. The door had a bio-scanner that would read a person's bio-signature. It was specifically engineered to only allow Earl Trancy to enter in and out, and if it didn't recognize you, you would get electrocuted. The door was also invisible, and slid open only when Trancy went in or out. I'm not going to bother to describe him to you, it's a waste of time. Overweight, gray hair, disgusting wrinkles, and some odd fetish for feet. I don't know, I guess when your that old, things like that arouse you.

I remember when I first met the pedophile. He'd been having some sort of 'fashion show', with boys strutting out their hips, and posing and kissing with such a limited amount of clothes. I ended up last. I'd always been one of the least favorites because of my, quote, "ugly, disgusting eyes". Yet I ended up being the sexiest one out of all, even if we were all wearing the same thing. What did I do? I simply flaunted about, ground upon a doorway, and put one of the sexiest performances ever! Ooh, was that dude aroused. In a quick and needy response, he told me "Please! Let me take you!"

I responded amazingly. Not knowing about his 'thing' for feet, I simply stretched out my skinny, pale leg. He grabbed onto it softly, and started massaging my inner thigh after admiring my white feet.

We did it, the Earl and I. Well, not right away. It took about a week for him to get the guts to take me, but it was nice and gave an amazing feeling that was foreign to my body. Although I was the victim of a kidnapping, I loved it. It's not like we were really 'abused'. I was moved to my own private room. It was completely white, like the one with the other boys, but this one had an invisible door that allowed Trancy and _me_ to enter in and out. I was allowed everywhere in the mansion and pretty much did whatever I wanted. I didn't even _want _to leave.

Okay, I think I should start talking about my parents now, because I can't hide it forever. My mother and father had a divorce when I was a baby, my father inherited me, and because of that my own mother committed suicide. I heard from someone that her last words were, "I can't live in a world where my child is living with that devil!" before she plunged a knife into her chest.

My father escaped, and took me to a special little village, where I was actually abused and forced to work for being an 'outsider' and a 'worthless child'. I was hit with sticks, thrown rocks at, and called filthy names by the adults watching me. I noticed there was another boy who suffered the same fate as I did, and we became almost like brothers. His name was...I can't even say it, it's too painful. But he became my brother, and we protected each other. I felt a love I hadn't felt in a long time.

Then that day came. I was out of the village grabbing some supplies, and when I got back...fire burned all over the village in a blanket of red fury. I stayed on it's outskirts, not knowing what to do, not knowing how this could have possibly happened. When the flames died, I found my own unofficial little brother...cold stone dead on the pavement. "Please!" I cried, holding his limp body, "don't leave me alone!"

After I had the strength and willpower to leave him, I was treading when I was kidnapped and taken to Trancy's estate. But don't think I'm with him now, he's long gone. I killed him myself, let the others free, because although I enjoyed getting special treatment, all of those boys reminded me of my brother; so I let them free.

Of course I escaped the estate, never was I to go to that bloody estate again, and I was back on the streets. _What could I do?_ I asked myself repeatedly. I had to find a way to make money, and no job would be so low as to hire a child. Well, that's what I thought. It took a while, but I found my new job that would scar me for life. Prostitution. It was the only job that would pay me decent money for selling my body. Besides, the escapades I had with Trancy had given me sufficient experience to meet the job's expectations. So I ended up changing my name to Alois Morgan, my two middle names at birth. My actual name was Jim Morgan Alois Macken, but I took the last name Trancy so I wouldn't forget my past.

"And now I'm here." I say as I cum on my pillow. "Wonderful."

I quickly grab a napkin and wipe the white liquid off the pillow, and take an inventory on the room. Blue walls, tan carpet, and a now messed up bed that has a crumpled blue bedspread. I'm in a motel, because that's where I usually stay after I've had a one-night stand, since I don't exactly have a house.

I awake the next morning with a jolt. By that, I mean I fall off my bed. I rub my back and walk into my bathroom to take a look at myself. I don't do this very often because I'm usually very busy. With what you ask? Well, it has something to do with my owner. I give him a third of my weekly pay, explaining why I'm always so busy any time of day! Sex after sex after more sex. Sometimes, when I wake with a sore ass, I have sex again to stretch out my muscles.

I make about...oh, maybe around two-thousand a week? Doing lots of little favors really ups your pay; things like whining a little more, begging them to hurry up, and especially to cry. You'd think I'd be uncomfortable talking about this, but nope! Actually, I'm fine with it, because I know you won't mind, right? I hope not. I don't have any friends, most of my time is reading books. I love books. Some of my favorites are Great Expectations, philosophies of all wonders, and The Diary of a Young Girl. Reading is mostly what I do in my spare time, even though it's a rare occasion when I have any.

But I'll just move on! Anyway, I look at myself intently in the mirror. I've got blonde hair that could really use a hair-cut, glassy blue eyes that are a real turn on to customers, and I know you probably don't want to hear this (**IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE THE PLEASE DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE**), but my dick is actually pretty big comparing other boys my age. Is that weird to say that so comfortably? Sometimes, when I'm not doing particularly well with a customer, I'll whisper dirty things into their ears to get them more excited. Something like, "Hey baby, my asshole is just aching to be pounded by your huge dick." or "Give it to me hard, just fuck me like I'm a toy!" or even "Oh, my ochinchin is just throbbing for your touch...*insert groan here*." By the way if your wondering, 'ochinchin' is a child's word for penis. Sometimes something like that will really get a client going.

"Ah...Alois Trancy, you've got a shit load to do today, huh? And you decide to wake up late? Smart, Trancy boy, smart." I don't exactly know why, but teasing myself makes me feel so much better in the morning, when I'm usually a pain in the ass.

I hold up my Transporter and say, "Take me to 31340 Crimson Avenue, stat." I'm pixelized and arrive in front of my destination in seconds. The house looks like a regular closed-down shop, you'd think it'd be abandoned. But it's not. I hold my hand out and a scanner wipes my hand up and down. "Bio-scan complete," says a computer generated voice, "Worker: Alois M. Trancy. Age: Fourteen. Occupation: Professional in sexual services." The brown door that looks so old it would break slides open in a futuristic manner, and I walk into a tiny room made of all chrome. I stand on an 'x' directly placed in the middle of a circle on the chrome floor, and am shot upstairs quickly. I arrive at the attic of the house, and in there waits my other co-workers. Then I see my owner, the one who hired me. I don't know his first name, but he's got black silky hair, auburn eyes covered by square glasses, and a smile that comes by so rarely. Right now he's frowning.

"Trancy, I thought I told you not to arrive late from now on."

Shit, I forgot, he distinctively told me that a couple of days ago.

"My apologies, Mr. Faustus."

"May I have your report?"

I hand him a bundle of papers. "Yes sir."

On the papers are information about my latest customers. Faustus always looks them over to see what kind of clients come to us workers individually, to see which people we should each target. It's a good business tactic, I must say.

"I see, you've been attracting more older men than you have before." says Faustus with his lips almost forming a smile. "Interesting. I would assume that younger males would go for someone like you, considering your sex appeal and since they're usually so horny at that age, but I guess you've been acting more innocent than usual, thus attracting much more older men" He skips to the last page and his auburn eyes go large in shock. "You've been making a lot more than usual. Alois, for you, I think you should keep up the lolita act, it seems older men are willing to pay more for that."

I reply with a simple nod, and Faustus continues doing the same with each of the others. I'll admit, I'm pretty anti-social, so I don't know a lot of the others, but one of them usually catches my eye. She's way older, maybe in her late twenties, but yet she has gray silky hair that goes down to the middle of her back. She's tan, and wears distinctive purple lipstick and wears a conservative-like maids outfit when all us workers get together each morning. But I've seen her when she's on duty. Now, I'm not exactly gay, although 90% of my income comes from males, but she looks pretty sexy in her uniform. Black lace lingerie. Of course, tons of the other whores wear the same, but there's one thing that gets a lot of guys going. She's got the biggest breasts I've ever seen, and I've had my fair share of big-breasted women in my earlier days. Perhaps this is why she's still on the Top Pick List. The Top Pick List is a piece of printed paper, updated each week, that shows the Top 3 most favorite whores in the company. Before I came, I heard she was number one. Guess who's number one now.

"You are all dismissed." Says Faustus when he's doing talking to each of us. I quickly run out and hide in a blob of people, when the man calls, "Alois, come here." in an exsasperated kind of voice. I sigh too, and flop into a chair in front of his desk. "What?"

"Hm, your such a spoiled little brat."

"Like you care, all you want is money."

"True. So tell me, Alois, how _do_ you do it?"

I cock my head. "Do what?"

"Make so much money. Your the youngest whore here and you make double what the other favorites make. Not to mention your gender makes it hard. How do you do it?"

"I don't know, I act charming and shit, and then the boys'll come to fuck me." My head is being held by my hand which is leaning on his desk. I'm bored.

"Well I guess a lot of men have turned gay, because before you came, the girls were the ones that dominated the charts. Not that they still don't, Hannah and Alice are still on the list, but yet _you_, a male prostitute, are number one. It must kill them inside."

I groan. "Are you trying to butter me up, Faustus, or are you inviting me for a nap? Because if it's the latter, then thank you."

He laughs, an uncommon thing for him to do. "My dear boy, why do you think that I'm always trying to trick you?"

"Because I'm not stupid."

"Huh, that's a good thing. If you don't mind, I'm going to tell you a secret."

"Go ahead, I don't have anyone to tell."

"Alright." Faustus comes right next to my ear. "It happened again. Another worker was raped while on the job."

"Then fucking _do_ something about it instead of sitting on your lazy ass all day."

Another laugh. "Alois Morgan Trancy, you flatter me."

"I thought I told you that I do not appreciate being teased with my middle name!?"

"But it's just so _fun_ to see your reaction, my dear boy."

I get up and push the chair to his desk. "I'm leaving."

"Alright then, goodbye Alois."

I slam the door closed and stand on a black circle on sturdy wooden floor. I'm pixelized and brought to the chrome room again, where a camera attaches itself to my head, in order to check that the coast is clear.

"All is good."

"Affirmative," says another computer voice, "Destination?"

"23894 Archibald Lane." The motel I was at in the morning.

"Affirmative. Arriving at destination, now." I'm pixelized once again and then arrive inside my room. The Transporter used sometimes looks into your brain to know exactly where you desire to go. I instantly flop on the white mattress and take a nap.

You'd think with all my money, that I'd be living in a mansion or something, but no. I made a contract with Faustus, saying that I'd work with him for five years and I would receive 2/3 of my income. I guess in the end it was a great idea, because Faustus would become gloriously rich if he hired enough people. I agreed, because I was starving, homeless, and desperately in need for money. And I don't regret it, I make good money, I'm not being abused or being used by a pimp, and I'm objectified by my boss, although I'm not exactly sure in which way. But what do I care? As long as I get what I need, I'm happy. Anyway, the main reason that I don't have my own house is because we travel so often, from London to Australia, and then back to my home country, the Northern Confederate States of America. The reason we're not traveling now is because, as Faustus said, the number of workers being raped is increasing, and when that happens, they have automatic authority to stay in the business or quit. Most quit. Sometimes, on my harder days, I've wished that I could just quit living.

"Alois, you didn't bring your paperwork today. May I ask the reason?"

"I didn't fucking _do_ anything yesterday."

"Why?" Faustus's eyes look wide with obviously fake confusion.

"Because I was tired and I've been working a shit load lately. Problem?"

"Not at all," he folds his hands on his desk, "just wondering."

My right leg is crossed over my left, and my head is flat on his desk. I've been working non-stop for the past week, and my sleep is starting to catch up on me.

"You'd better get some sleep, your going to need it."

I shoot my head up to face the mind-reader. "For what?"

He smiles mischievously. "We're going to London."

Authors Note: AND WHO DO YOU THINK ALOIS IS GOING TO MEET **THERE!?** Sorry, just excited. Thanks for reading Ch. 1, R&R if you think I should continue! Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Kay! This is the second chapter for "Save Me Please". Sorry it took so long (:O Shame on me). I noticed that I was getting a lot of followers and R/R's from this book, so I'm making a new chapter. No BL in this one, just a bit more in depth about Alois's life and all that other stuff. You'll have to wait for some BL, but soon my little fangirls, soon. Enjoy!

Chapter 2 [Alois's POV]

"Why?" I ask suspiciously, "Why do you want to go to London, Faustus?" There's only two explanations I can think of: Either Faustus is down on money so he wants us to work there (you get paid more in other countries, typically), or because he has too much money that he wants to spend some of it on vacation. I'm hoping for the second.

"It's a secret." He puts a finger to his lips.

"Idiot."

"Alois," he says in an extremely phony voice, "stop being a brat. You know you want to go, you don't have to hide it."

He's right. It's always been my dream to go to London. Although I _have_ been to other countries (Germany, Spain.), London is my dream country. I love the accents people say are so exotic you don't want them to shut up, how they dress so horribly fancy it's a sin, and how everything they do is so proper you think their acting for a play. It's always been a fascination of mine, just to know how they are, why people like them so much. This could be a dream come true. But...

"Do I have to work?"

"No no, my money is so ample I don't know what to do with it."

"So _that's_ why you want to go." Bingo!

"Ha! Alois Trancy, you've fooled me again. I _do_ enjoy our conversations, don't you?"

"No. Who else is going?"

"My top workers. That means you..." he glances up at the chart on the wall. "Hannah, and Alice. You three will be going for a little vacation time."

"Great. Can I go home now? It's four in the morning and I've under slept all week." Oh I forgot to mention that. Since I'm apparently the 'favorite' in the company, Faustus always has these secret meetings with me early in the morning before the other workers come at seven o' clock.

"Sure, I'll let you go." I quickly stand and place myself over the small 'x' in a circle on the wooden floor. This takes me back to that chrome room with the circle and 'x'. A computerized voice comes out on speaker that says, "Destination?"

"23894 Archibald Lane." The Transporter immediately pixelizes me back to my same room, with the tanned carpets and blue bedspread. I fall asleep immediately.

_~Hours Later~_

"Shut the hell up!" I throw my alarm clock across the room and it shatters. Fine. If there's anything I hate more that waking up in the morning after having a good nap, I don't know _what_.

But it's six thirty, and I have to go back to Faustus's office _again_. That's because he doesn't want the other workers to be suspicious of our secret meetings. I mean, I don't think they'd want to keep working if they knew that Faustus only 'kind of' cared about me, and not them.

In the mirror I see myself wearing my old typical outfit. White T-Shirt, red suspenders connected to green knee-hi plaid shorts, and then my favorite purple high tops. Normally us workers don't change our clothes, it's a waste of time, and almost always our clothes are different from when we're with Faustus and when we're actually on the job. This is because workers have their own designated zones where they attract more customers. I don't have one because I'm a kid and almost everyone would want me over a twenty-year-old girl who obviously has the practice. In my case, I'm a great actor, and I can cry and beg and plead without them even knowing that I've been working here for almost four years.

After eating a not-exactly-glorious breakfast at the motel I'm staying at, I dress myself and head on over to Faustus's. It's a wonderful day to be living in the NCSA. Oh, I forgot to explain that, didn't I. Whoops. I'm forgetting a lot lately, aren't I? Okay, so what Faustus tells me (since he sometimes gives me little bits of history in our conversations), is that we actually used to be combined with the South; they called it the United States of America. But then a war broke out for some unknown reason, and now the two have been split. I live in the North Confederate States of America; obviously the northern part. I live in the state of New Jersey, it's really liberal there, and I've lived here my whole life.

_~In Faustus's Office~_

"Everyone, I have an announcement." Faustus stands up for emphasis. It's seven o' clock, and me, Hannah, Alice, and Faustus are the only ones in his office.

"What is it, sir?" Asks Hannah.

He smiles. "We'll be going to London in three days. I've bought all of your plane tickets."

"Oh really!?" I fake excitement. "Oh yay! That's so wonderful!" I bounce about in the room, until Alice shushes me with a small smile.

"Yes, I suggest you start packing." Faustus gives a stiff nod, indicating that he wants us out quickly. All the other workers scramble towards the black 'x' and circle, but a whistle from Faustus makes a groan come out of my vocal chords, and I mope on over to my seat. "What?"

"That was some good acting skills you had back there."

"Mm hm. What do you want?"

"Nothing. Just wondering, are you excited?"

"Yes."

"You don't sound excited. What if I decided not to take you with us?"

"Then I could buy my own plane ticket, don't act like I'm poor."

"True, true." He looks down at the table where his hands are folded. "I still don't get how you do it."

"Whatever."

"You know, the word 'whatever' gives off a sign of weakness."

"I don't care. See? I didn't say whatever."

"Yes you did, right now."

"Oh shut up, will you!?" I angrily get up and am about to walk towards the black circle, when a hand grips my arm.

Faustus looks down at me with a sly grin on his face. "Nice talking to you, Alois."

"Shut the hell up and let me go." I hiss. Instead of listening, like so many others would, Faustus grips harder and even giggles.

"Oh I do enjoy teasing you so, Alois."

"Do I need to repeat myself?"

"Ah ah ah, that's no way to talk to your boss, now, is it?"

Under my breath I mutter, "...no."

"That's what I thought." I jerk my arm from his grip and dash out. I swear, sometimes Faustus just gets on my nerves. Especially when he reminds me of his authority over me, which he does have. I guess he's right though; what kind of boss would let their employees talk smack right at their face? None. But something tells me that Faustus puts up with it for a reason. I mean, you heard when Hannah called him 'sir'. When have I ever done that? The only name I've ever called him is Faustus; other than that I never even say his name. But he's fine with it, so I guess it's okay.

_~The Next Day~_

"Packer, get that, too." I point to a pile of clothes lying limp on the ground. My Packer, a knee-length robot that packs things into suitcases for you, immediately rolls over to them and folds them neatly.

The day after tomorrow is when our plane will be taking off. I'm so excited, I can hardly stand it! Somehow I've managed to stay calm all day, and I've been slacking off of work, probably making Faustus a little irritated of me. But who cares? It's not like he's ever done anything for me; wait, that's wrong. I should be grateful. After all, it was Faustus that offered me a contract with him, saying that I could work for 2/3 of my pay, but could never escape. Similar to how one makes a contract with a demon; the demon serves, and in tern the prey can never escape.

"Ew." I hold up a pair of my boxers in disgust; their wet. I throw it on the floor and look at my suitcase. It's almost filled, so I decide that today would be a good day to buy some clothes. Hurriedly I grab my Transporter out of my pocket. "Transporter! Take me to the nearest clothing store available in my destination! And make it snappy!" I'm not in the best mood. Something you should know about me (and I know I'm ranting.), is that I tend to get tons of mood swings very often. Doesn't help much with work, but it's just a part of me that I don't like very much; if I'm too rude with a customer, I don't get paid well, and I'm usually in a bad mood so I have to have the acting skills of a Broadway actor/actress. You learn a ton after a couple of years.

After a _delightful_ trip to the mall, I decide to ravish myself at a fancy restaurant. Now I must admit, Jersey has a very limited amount of fancy places to dine in; but somehow I find a good one that serves all-you-can-eat for a decent price. I also decide that this would be a perfect time to show off my new look: A purple long robe, glittering green vest, collared white shirt with long sleeves, black short-shorts (for a bit of a sexy attire), black knee-highs, and brown boots with purple ribbons. And since I'm so nice, I invite Alice, one of the top workers, to dine with me too, free of charge. Who knew I could be so nice!?

"My lady?" I bow to Alice, who in response curtsies and sits in the booth.

Alice is somewhat of a pretty girl, she's probably in her early twenties. She's got black hair in a short bob, and tonight she's wearing a silk black dress that goes down to her knees. She's unusually modest for a whore. I've seen her on the job. She never dresses slutty; like, _ever_. This is weird, because traditionally girls wear clothes that show a ton of skin, but not Alice. She's the most conservative girl I've ever known. In some weird way I respect her for that, that she doesn't go for sexy looks to attract people. I don't know much about her, but she seems nice. She usually keeps to herself.

"So Alice, tell me a bit about yourself." I take a bite of a drumstick.

"Hm, let's see. I came to the company about seven years ago, before you came. I was really shy, I didn't know anyone, and Faustus was so nice...I didn't know how to react to it all."

"But what about your past? Can I hear about that?"

She blushes. "O-Oh. Well, I guess I can trust you." She inhales and exhales deeply. "I was a college student; straight A's, never a bad girl, never hung out with the bad crowd. Perfect student. Then my best friend Megan introduced me to alcohol and smoking. I got totally hooked.

"Anyway, my grades went down the toilet. My parents were so devastated. When I came back to visit from the summer vacation, I dyed my hair blonde to black, with two big pink strips on the sides and pink strips alternating with my bangs. Tons of tattoos, red contacts, huge hooped earrings, and a boyfriend clinging to my arm. My parents said that if I didn't shape up soon, I'd be kicked out of college. But I didn't care. I was sick of being the good girl in class. I had long blonde hair when I was young, dorky glasses, and I was super shy. Anyway, I dropped out of college to be with my boyfriend Snake. Stupidest thing I ever did. He dumped me once I got pregnant, and I got an abortion. I lost my house, my boyfriend, and I later found out that my parents committed suicide after knowing I dropped out. I was so sad and scared, I ended up on the streets and in the cold. After a couple of months I met Mr. Faustus, and I've been working here ever since."

The story is so inspiring. Who would know that such a shy girl could have such an interesting past? Before, I just thought that maybe she just had no other job to do, so she went with Faustus. I never thought she could actually be a party type, a girl who would make her own parents commit suicide from the agony and pain of having a rebellious college-age daughter. It makes me think of what I would do with my future. What _would_ I do? Would I study and become something big? Doubt it. I've never been to school once in my life. I only know more adult things, and that's not going to take me anywhere. Unless it's to be a lawyer, and even then I'd have to have tons of education. I guess I'll end up doing this job until the day I retire, depending if I even do.

"W-Wow..." I don't know what to say.

"Speechless?"

"Yeah, sorry..."

"It's okay. I've never told anyone about my past."

"Really?"

"Except Megen. She lives in a state called Florida. I've heard it's really swampy there."

"Swampy?"

"A swamp is like a lake, only more muddier and with these animals called crocodiles."

"Oh. Why doesn't she live here?"

"I don't know. I don't think she could ever talk to me again, knowing the damage she gave me, even though I forgave her."

"You did!?" I slam my fists on the table. "Why!? She never did anything for you!"

"Calm down, Alois. I had to forgive her. Why wouldn't I?"

"At _least_ you could get revenge for all she did to you." I think of Earl Trancy, and his young boys, tortured and abused with bruises all over.

"Alois, you don't understand." Alice sounds one hundred years old when she says, "Revenge doesn't benefit you. Don't have hatred in your heart, you need to learn to forgive, so others can forgive you too. Never _ever_ hate another human being. Do you understand?"

I don't answer. Instead I spend the rest of the night poking at my mashed potatoes.

_~At Alois's House~_

It's three o' clock in the morning, and Alice's words are still spinning around in my head. All I've ever known is revenge. Revenge for my father abandoning me and not caring for me; I don't even _know_ what happened to him, I think he died in that fire, not that I care. What did he ever do for me? I think of Alice's words again. _"Revenge doesn't benefit you. Don't have hatred in your heart, you need to learn to forgive, so others can forgive you too. Never _ever_ hate another human being. Do you understand?" _No, Alice, I don't understand. I'll never be able to stop hating my father for taking me away from Mom, making her stab herself from the pain. Now I understand why she called my dad a devil or whatever before she died; because it's true.

"Agh!" I throw my pillow at the wall. "Come on, I _need_ to go to sleep."

The room is eerily quiet, except for the whisper of 'tick tock' from the alarm clock on the dresser. I think of a line from Mockingjay, from the Hunger Games series.

"Tick tock, this is a clock. Do not think of Alice, do not think of Alice."

But it's no use. I feel like Katniss, unbearably thinking about Peeta and his words, like how I'm thinking of Alice. _Never _ever_ hate another human being._

"Never ever hate another human being." I face-plant onto the bed and groan. Stop thinking stop thinking. Stop. STOP!

"I can't. I can't stop hating." I stare at the ceiling. There I see images of people I've known over my whole life, even my younger years. They all show in chronological order of my life. Mom, Dad, Luka, Earl Trancy, Faustus, Hannah, Alice. There's someone else, but their picture is too blurry. After squinting, I see the person is me, like a mirror I see myself on the ceiling. It's hard to decide if it's my imagination or real.

Am I going crazy? It's like Alice's words are life-changing, and I've been reborn. I start thinking of my life so far. Is it all worth it?

I take a knife out of my dresser and aim for my neck. "Maybe it'd be better if I were gone..."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I AM SO EXTREMELY SORRY! My parents found out about my Yaoi collection, so I couldn't update! But here I am! NOW READ PEOPLE!

Chapter 3: Denial [Alois's POV]

_"Alois? Are you awake, baby?"_

_ "Ugh, what-Mom!?"_

_ "Alois...how've you been?"_

_ "M-Mother! I-"_

_ "Sh sh sh, don't cry Alois."_

_ "You! Luka-!"_

_ "He's right over here."_

_ "Luka!"_

_ "Alois! I missed you!"_

_ "S-So did I!"_

_ "Alois! Alois...!"_

The swiping of a bedcover. The chill of an evening gust. And the sound of an unfamiliar yet recognizable voice. "Alois?"

"Huh! What?" I frantically look around my room, and the person I see is Alice; dear, beautiful Alice. "Alois? Are you alright?"

"Huh? Oh...what happened?" I rub my head, which hurts like it's been scraped open with an axe.

"I found you collapsed on the sidewalk minutes after you left."

"I collapsed?"

"Yes. You drank too much wine at the restaurant and stormed out."

"I did? Wow, I don't remember anything."

"I took you in. Your head's been rubbed with ice and stuff, because you had a big lump on it, and it looked kind of serious. But your okay now."

"Oh God..." Great. Now I owe Alice big time. "How much do you want?"

"No no! Don't give me anything! I'm fine, honest."

"How about I take you out again? I promise I won't be such a douche this time."

"Well, I guess so."

I want to ask Alice _so_ many questions, but they can't flow out of my mouth. It's like my throat has been ripped out, and I'm still alive but unable to communicate, despite doing so only a few seconds ago.

"Well, I guess I'd better let you be. See you later." She waves goodbye and shuts the door to my room. I let out a sigh, letting everything sink underneath my skin. Here's what I know: Alice and I went to a restaurant, um...that's it. She said we got in an argument. About what? What did she tell me that would cause someone as mellow as I am to get into an argument? And yes, I _am_ very mellow, thank you very much. Maybe not around Faustus (_that's_ for sure), but I'm usually very mellow when I'm off the job; typically excited, hyper, overjoyed. Not the type of personality that you'd expect someone with my status to have.

I look around. Everything looks the same, except a melted ice-pack on my dresser next to my alarm clock. Immediately I feel guilt. Whatever the reason I got mad at Alice, I shouldn't have. She's too nice for anyone not to like her. Literally. All of the workers respect her, and never talk behind her back like they do with everyone else (except me, because they have a hunch that I'm the company favorite.)

I propose to take a nap because it's late and I'm tired as hell. The thoughts of the night before swirl around in my dreams, and I then start to think about the trip tomorrow. _Wait a minute, I haven't finished packing_. I mope out of bed and pack my bags in the same manner that a zombie would. After stuffing all of my belongings into my suitcases, I collapse on my bed and fall into the deepest of slumbers.

_~Next Day; Early Morning~_

"Alright, I'm up! I'm up!" I slam the OFF button on my alarm clock hard, making the entire table shake. I have a hangover. God_damn_ does it hurt. It feels like I've been shot in the head, and I feel fuzzy and groggy and dizzy; to keep it short, I feel like a dead man walking.

"Ugh...gotta get aspirin." I shake a tablet out of the small bottle and swallow it with some water. Seconds after, I hear a buzzing on the 'kitchen' table. My Cellular Communicative Device, or CCD. I answer it in an annoying tone. "_Hello?"_

"Hello Alois."

I frown on the other side. "Faustus."

He laughs. "Of course. Who else would it be?"

"Are you trying to suggest I don't have a social life?"

"Calm down, sweetheart. I didn't mean it like that."

"Better not have."

"Mm hm. So I heard you and Alice had a fight."

"How did you find out?"

"Because, sweetheart, I know everything."

This makes me smile. "Yeah, sure."

"I hope this won't affect your participation to our trip. You're still going?"

"Of course. I'll be there before you can say 'London'."

"London. Are you there yet?"

"Shut up, I didn't mean it literally."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, dear. Goodbye." He hangs up the phone before I do, causing me to slam it on the floor (don't worry these are indestructible.) I swear, I hate that man so much! He annoys the hell out of me, sometimes I just wish he were dead. I know that's not a nice way to think of your boss, but if you were in my shoes and had a boss that always teased you and played funny with you, I think you'd go crazy! The only reason I don't is because I'm positive that I'm crazy already.

I then spend the rest of the weary morning watching the sun rise above the horizon, sipping a cup of tea, and thinking about the trip that I have to leave for in a few hours. The rest of the peaceful time is spent by me rushing over Faustus's office for a 'chat', as he likes to call it. If I don't show up, then he threatens to fire me or take more of my paycheck. Honestly, I wouldn't care if he took more of my paycheck, I only do it so that he stays in a good mood; Faustus is usually a calm and mellow person, and I'm honestly a little scared to see how he would act in a bad mood, because usually mellow people are terrible when in a bad mood (I know because I'm mellow too.)

Hours later I somehow find the energy to transport to the airport. I surprise myself by arriving fast, since Transporter uses your energy to do it's thing (and I don't have much of that), similar to how gas was once used on these things they used to call 'cars', as Faustus once told me. Anyway, I arrive at the airport just around the same time that Faustus, Hannah, and Alice arrive. I greet each one, Alice I shake hands with a little grimly because of our supposed 'fight', and then ask which flight we'll be taking.

"Twenty-Four," says Hannah. "They're taking our bags right now."

"Cool. How long from here to London?"

"Approximately eight hours." A suited-up Faustus appears from behind Alice. "Depending on the wind."

"Interesting. Good thing I brought some stuff to keep me company." I'm talking about this super old game that my ancestors would play, centuries and centuries ago. It's called a PlayStation Portable. I'm amazed that it still works. It's from the time period when cars still used and when people actually had to _walk_ to get to get somewhere, and there were poor people and food shortages and all sorts of terrible stuff. Here we always have enough food, nobody's poor, and we these new gadgets that help us through life. The only problem I can think of is the war.

After boarding and taking our seats, the plane takes off towards London. I end up falling asleep on the seats, which you can set up to how you like it, and eating a nice dinner of penne pasta with chunks of chicken and vegetables in a creamy garlic sauce.

Hours later, I'm unpleasantly awakened by Faustus. By unpleasantly, I mean he nudges me hard on the shoulder.

"Ow!" I rub the side of my arm. "What was that for?"

"To wake you up. We're half-way there."

"Ugh..." I look out the window. Just the sight of how high we are makes me want to puke.

"Air-sick, darling?" Faustus hands me a plastic bag.

"No. I don't have any weaknesses."

"Mm hm. Sure sweetheart."

"Seriously, what's with the cute nicknames!?"

"Alois, shh." I look behind my chair and see Alice, in all of her beauty, with a finger to her lips. "Wouldn't want to get in trouble, would you?"

I can't help stuttering. "N-No, I wouldn't."

"Alright. Just try to keep it down, baby."

_Baby..._that's the name my parents would call me. When I was so young, maybe about five, I remember hearing my mother calling to me with her arms out, saying "Baby! Come here!" And I would always come running towards her, arms opened as well, as we would embrace tightly along with my father comforting us both at the same. We were such a happy family...

Suddenly I'm choking on my own breath and air comes out of me with small pants. Tears start slowly streaking down my face. _Mom...Dad...Luka...I miss you so much._ I know what my weakness is. My family.

I feel an arm snake around my neck and look behind me. I see Alice's big purple eyes staring down at me with hurt and comfort printed all over them. "Alois, come sit next to me."

I'm so grateful for the offer. Alice is quick to tell Hannah to please trade places with me, which she happily obliges, and I sit next to Alice, weeping and staining her pretty gray sweatshirt with my tears.

"Sh sh sh, don't cry baby." She strokes my hair softly, as I lean upon her curved breasts. My hand reaches between her chest and neck, gripping the small cleavage from her sweatshirt. She grips onto my hand gently and puts it on the seat next to her hip. It reminds me of my mother.

"Alois, why are you crying?"

I sniff. "I-I-"

"Do you miss someone?"

How does she know, I think to myself. I don't think she's lost anyone in her life. Then I remember. Her parents committed suicide, just like my mom.

"My family..." I choke out.

"Don't worry baby, it's okay. Do you know where they are?"

For some reason this rubs me the wrong way. "My mom's dead, and so's my Dad! Even my little brother-because of me!"

"Sh sh sh, it's alright. I'm sure it wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was!"

"Alois, you need to be quiet. Now how could it have been your fault?"

"Maybe I should just be dead too!"

She sighs. I must be like a hopeless case to her. "Alois, do you want me to sing for you?"

I look up. No one's ever sung to me. I've never even heard music, except for on the radio, which I rarely ever have on. Doesn't do good for business.

"O-Okay." Alice wipes a tear from my face and sings a song from my favorite book:

_ Deep in the meadow, under the willow_

_ A bed of grass, a soft green pillow_

_ Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes._

_ And when again they open, the sun will rise._

_ Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_ Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

_ Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_ Here is the place where I love you._

"The Hunger Games..." I whisper, remembering the song.

"Yes. I adore that book."

After a couple of minutes, I end up falling asleep on Alice's chest. The last line of the song floats in my dreams. Here is the place where I love you. I love you...

_~Plane Arrives In London~_

"Attention everyone, attention! Please go to the Finder immediately and evacuate the plane! That is all!"

The voice wakes me up from my slumber. I lift my head up, and see everyone getting off their seat and walking towards the Finder: a mouthpiece in which you speak your name, and it finds your bag and hands it to you with a robotic arm.

"Alois, baby, let's go find our bags." Like a five-year-old, Alice holds my hand and leads me to the Finder, saying her name first and pushing me forward to say mine next. In a matter of seconds, we have our bags and are attempting to get off the crowded plane.

Once off, I realize that all I've eaten is that pasta dish. "What restaurants are around here?"

"Let's see..." Hannah holds up a map. "We're in Heathrow Airport. There's a lot of cafe's, a couple of Italian places, and some small eating places." She looks at Alice. "Where do you feel like going?"

"I think we should ask Alois. He's the youngest, after all."

I find myself beaming from her kindness. "Mm, maybe EAT. Sounds interesting."

"Alright. Hannah, let's go there."

"Sure." Faustus and Hannah say in unison.

We end up eating there. It's actually a good place, and I end up getting a simple sandwich while the other get some with ingredients that are bizarre: combinations of vegetables and sauces that are foreign to my ears.

"Alice, what's that?" I ask, pointing to a green vegetable.

"They call them pickles. We don't have lots of them back in the NCSA."

"Oh." I stare down at my plain sandwich. "Can I have some?

"Sure. There's too many for my taste." She picks some out from between her bread and plops them down on my sandwich.

On my left there's Hannah and Faustus, Hannah with meat shaped into little balls with a red sauce, and Faustus with a grilled chicken and minor sauces and vegetables. No wonder. He needs to lose some weight. I feel like saying this but don't.

After finishing our meals, we proceed to our hotel. It's called Sofitel London Heathrow. Since the time changes in London, we end up arriving at the evening. We drink some cups of warm tea with little cakes in the Tea Salon, and eat a nice French dinner at La Belle Époque. The food sits in my stomach as I lay on my warm mattress while reading Catching Fire on my Portable Advanced Computer Device. Too long of a name for my taste. I heard before they used to call them 'laptops', because you would keep them on your lap, but ours have screens that float in the air right at your height, sitting or standing, and you speak what you want to type instead of writing on a keyboard. As I'm reading, the computer sees where my eyes are reading, and automatically scrolls when I need it to.

I'm on the part where Finnick and Katniss are hunched over in the jungle, absolutely pained by the screams of their loved ones. It reminds of me so many years ago, when our village burned down and I was all alone, how the pain would hit me out of nowhere and cause me to sink to my heels, elbows on knees, hands covering my forehead and eyes. The cries of their pain would scream out in my mind, and I would cry out in the open nothingness for their prescence again. Sometimes I even have nightmares of the people I love who are dead, and I'll be there yelling out "Where are you! Please come back! I need you now!"

The thoughts make me shudder, and I speak into the mouthpiece, asking for a drink of water. It comes in seconds on the nightstand without a lamp.

Nightmares destroy my happy dreams tonight, and I wake up screaming in a night sweat. Weird. I usually have such happy dreams, although once in a while I'll take a trip to Nightmare Land, a place in which I'm afraid of so much.

Quietly I sneak out of my room and tiptoe towards Alice's bed. I tug on the sleeve of her nightgown, and her big purple eyes flutter open. "Alois?"

"I-I-I had a nightmare. Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Of course. Come here, there's too much room for my taste anyway."

"Okay." I cuddle in between the sheets and fall asleep, lying on Alice's chest and holding her small body like a vice, as if I would plunge into darkness if I were to ever let go.

_~Morning~_

I'm awakened by sunlight streaming on the window panes of Alice's bedroom. I look next to me and see the young woman sleeping soundly with her arms around me, showing me her pale face.

I slowly unhook her arms from my waist and head on over to my room, putting my small blanket over my head and nightgown. After changing into a casual outfit, I get a message on my CCD that says, "Breakfast will be in the Vivre Restaurant." Great. I'm starving.

I find the gang at a table near the front door, probably because they didn't want me to struggle in finding them. I do tend to lose things a lot. I look around the restaurant a bit and it's stunning, what with it's open kitchen that allows you to watch your food being prepared in front of your eyes. The decor is amazing too.

"Alois!" Alice jumps up and gives me a hug before I sit down.

"Hi, Alice." I plop down on a cushion seat next to her.

"What would you like?" Asks a waitress.

"Hm, I'd like some hot buttered toast with marmalade please."

"Yes sir, I'll get it right away."

"How did you know about that?" Asks a curious Hannah.

I smile. "I know tons about London. I've been dying to come for a while."

"Oh."

In minutes our food arrives. Alice orders a bacon butty (tastes/looks better than it sounds), Hannah gets a 'Full English' (whole breakfast with everything on it), and Faustus orders something called porridge with a black drink I've never seen before but looks familiar.

"What's that?" I ask, pointing to Faustus's cup.

"It's called coffee. There's not too much of it up in Jersey, it's typically drunk down in the South."

"Oh." Faustus adds some little packets with white cream into the coffee, making turn a light brown instead of black.

After breakfast we proceed back to our rooms to change into something fancier. I change into my favorite outfit-I don't think I need to explain what it is again-and meet Alice outside of Barbecoa, a nice restaurant next to St. Paul's Cathedral. Alice wears a white silk gown just below her thigh and black heels.

"Hi. Um...I brought you this." I hold up a bouquet of flowers.

"For me?" I nod. "Oh thank you!" She sniffs them and her eyes flutter closed. "They smell lovely."

"Your welcome. I got them because of...that night."

"Oh. Well they're lovely. Thank you very much."

"It's alright." This is weird. I'm sounding way to formal. Usually I don't sound like this, I really do hate formal people (except British people, British people are awesome.) The atmosphere just feels to awkward, and then suddenly my hands start sweating.

We get a table right at the corner of the restaurant for a bit of privacy. Well, Alice is the shy one, I'm not. She's the one who doesn't talk to anyone beside me Hannah and Faustus, except her customers. She's incredibly anti-social to be a prostitute.

"So, Alice, how did you get to know Faustus?"

"Oh, don't you remember? I told you that night we went out.

"Really? I don't remember."

"It's because you drank a lot of the wine and then passed out. Remember?"

"Oh yeah..." _Damn it. Come on Alois, you know how to be smooth_.

"S-So, what do you plan to do in London?" The most stupidest question ever.

"Oh I don't know. It's a really nice place. But, there's just so much people..."

"Don't worry. If you want, I'll go with you whenever you go out and do all the talking. That way you won't have to talk to anyone and be uncomfortable."

"Really? Oh wow, thanks Alois!" She gets up and gives me a big hug. Instead of tolerating it, like I usually do when getting a hug, I wrap my arms around her slender body and sigh in relief. At least the awkwardness between us is over.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hey guys! Chapter 4 is here; you may hold your applause. Okay, I see a ton of people doing this, so imma do it too:  
*Cute child voice* dplusjluv21 does not own any characters from Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler except for Alice McGraw. She also own the story itself and does not own any places mentioned in this book (except for the NCSA and SCSA crap).

_Chapter_ _4_

Tonight I sleep soundly. Why? Because I finally feel at peace with Alice. She almost reminds me of my own mother, not because of looks, but just her gentle attitude. It makes me feel like she's on my side.

My dreams are happy; cheerful times with my parents, a pirate adventure with Luka, who always had such a good imagination, and of Alice and me having a wonderful time eating out. For once I get a peaceful sleep.

That is, until my CCD starts going crazy at seven in the morning.

"What's wrong with you!?" I yell, throwing the stupid thing across the room. Oh yeah. I forgot they're indestructible.

Finally I calm down enough to pick the damn thing up, and see its a message from Alice. I almost choke on my anti-depressant.

The message reads "Meet me local flower shop plz." I remember my promise to her and rush over in my pajamas.

"Alois, your here!" I rush over and hug her tightly. She smells of a sweet sugary perfume.  
"Yeah, I just woke up."  
"Oh. I was wondering which one of these flowers Mr. Faustus would like."  
"Why are you buying him flowers?" I don't think it's his birthday; even then I would only join with another worker and have them buy a present while pretending I participated in buying it.  
"Today's the day I got hired. Wanted to give him something special, you know?"  
"Yeah. Don't take this the wrong way, but why do something for him? I never do."  
"We'll you don't have to. You're special."  
This makes even me surprised. "Why?"  
"Because your his favorite. The other workers and I have known that since you arrived. Your the youngest worker we've ever had, and I've grown quite attached to you." This makes my heart soar.  
"Really?"  
"Of course! But just be reminded of something." She leans in close to my ear. "Don't trust the others, they don't like you. I'd watch your back."  
Of course I have to give her credit for the warning, but she must really be as naive as I've heard. Of course I know this. But I let her think she's been vital to me, although that itself is a lie. She's been more like a breath of fresh life in my dreary existance.  
"Okay. Thanks for...everything." I dash out before I do something stupid like cry in front of her.

~Afternoon~

Hours later Faustus makes plans for the four of us to meet at Westfield Shopping Centre and catch dinner somewhere nearby. I honestly don't know why that beast wants to spend so much time with us. Maybe he really cares about us.

Yeah, and maybe I'm stupid too.

But I go anyway. What's the harm? I get to spend more time with Alice, and maybe I can buy her something special.

It turns out okay. I buy some much-needed casual wear from Hollister and some fancy stuff from Burberry. Everyone buys something from Burberry, where their check print is unmistakeable.

After shopping we eat at Jamie's Italian, and I order something called Gnocchi. The food tastes wonderful and I'm having a wonderful time. Even Faustus laughs a lot, something I have never seen him do. We chat about how much we're loving London and how huge it is and how this might be the best vacation ever.  
The night seems wonderful, until Faustus calls me in for a chat before I go to sleep. I honestly don't know about what, but that chat couldn't have been more painful.  
I arrive in my usual outfit and Burberry scarf, when Faustus looks at me with a face I have never seen. It almost looks threatening.

"You called?"  
"Sit down Alois." He sounds like anger being held back.  
I sit. "What is it?"  
"Another couple of rapes happened. We barely have any workers left."

My mouth gapes open. I always thought Faustus had enough money to drown in. Could he go broke? And what about me?

"And?"  
"I'm going to take two thirds of your pay from now on, and from the others too."

It takes a while for the news to sink in. Without my usual two thirds, I'll barely have any money to survive. I mean, I've been getting really tired lately, so I haven't been doing my job for a long time. What if I end up in the streets again? I promised myself I'd never do that again. Maybe I'll have to break that promise. And my contract.

"No you won't. Not from me or Alice."  
"Excuse me?"  
"You can take all you want from the others, but not us."  
"You don't have a choice."  
"Yes I do! Under the law of the NCSA I do!"  
"The NCSA doesn't know your a sad little whore."  
"Don't you dare!"  
"Both you and Alice. I never liked that girl, anyway. She's not sexy enough."  
"You shut up right now!"  
"Alois Morgan Trancy that is enough!"  
"Don't you even dare use that name!"  
"I can and I will!"

Suddenly the door flies open. Alice grips me with tears in her eyes. She's heard the whole thing.

"Please sir, we'll go broke if you dock our pay." She sobs.  
"How about both of you shut the hell up before you get hurt!" Just as Faustus reaches out to slap Alice, I punch him square in the face and run out, gripping Alice's hand.  
We lock ourselves in her room, panting from the previous scenario. I never knew Faustus had such a frightening temper. I tremble just thinking of his cruel hand slapping Alice's beautiful face if I hadn't deflected it. Just the shadow on her face looks like a bruise to me, and I suddenly want another anti-depressant. Maybe I'll get lucky and die of overdose. Right now, that sounds a lot better than our current situation.

It's seconds later that it dawns on me. What will Faustus do to us? I personally humiliated him, something I'm sure has never happened. Will he make us do more sexual service for no pay? Or worse, give him our services? Or maybe we'll just be beaten to death by his powerful fists. I don't know which is worse. I'd take the third, but just seeing Alice all bloody makes me want to curl up in a ball and sob.  
And we begin to do that very thing. Sob because we're going to be poor again and because we're both so scared. We both clasp onto one another's bodies and sob for hours and hours. Good thing walls these days are sound-proof.

"Alois-what are we going to do!?" Alice gets out.  
"I-I don't know. We can't run."  
"Should we tell Hannah?"  
"No. We're not sure who's side she'd be in. Just try to hide your feelings until..." I trail off.  
"Until what?"  
"Until...I don't know. Just do it, okay?"  
"Alright, if you say so."

It's incredible how trusting Alice is. If I were her, I'd desert on my own and hide somewhere in Jersey. But then I'd be back on those streets, where people spit on your face and speak in cruel profanity. Home sweet home.  
That night Alice and I grasp on each other, like one being. From now on, we'll have to be that way. Just like one being. Indivisible.

A/N 2: Now you kind of get the title, huh? I'm sorry to say the next chapter is the rape scene. But at least we'll be able to see Ciel. Mkay, thanx 4 reading!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Kay, here's chapter 5! I felt so sad writing this part; literally, I cried while writing this. I wanna give a shout out to my BFF, she knows who she is, for telling me that my writing was good. *cries* I'm so sorry Alois!

Chapter 5

Alice and I decide to do nothing. There isn't anything we can really do, anyway. Run? No way, we'd be like birds in a cage. I don't want to tell Hannah because I really don't trust her, even though Alice pleaded that Hannah, as our fellow worker, could be trusted. She doesn't understand that I've lost that trusting for any human other than her.

We also decide to keep going to Faustus's little get togethers to make it less obvious. If you don't want to seem suspicious, do what you'd normally do.

But luckily Faustus leaves us alone for the day, do Alice and I go out to buy some food from the local super market. We'll need to pack up on supplies if A: We would get our pay docked, or B: We were to be fired. I'm thinking of B because I don't know how far Faustus would be willing to go, considering we humiliated him pretty good. I wonder if I left a mark on his face; the more noticeable, the bigger our punishment.

Just as I'm grabbing some oranges I see the silhouette of someone familiar. I turn around and see Faustus. If you didn't know about make up like I do (if you have a bad day, you gotta know a bit about concealer at least) then you would think that I didn't leave a dent on his virile face

Only I can literally see the huge dabs of mineral veil on the right side of his face.

I don't speak. If Faustus weren't as clever as me, then I could have pretended that I didn't notice him. Only he's is as smart as me and maybe a bit hypocrite if he really wants something. Trust me, I've been to underground company meetings, and he acts with the delicate vocabulary of an angel.

"Hello Alois." It's like he doesn't have a smudge of emotion in him.  
"Hello" I venture cautiously.  
"You know how you like the book The Hunger Games?"  
"Yes" I must not show my fear.  
"Well, you almost remind me of a Mockingjay. Too bad your singing in the wrong tune for my taste. And I thought Mockingjays were extinct; how silly of me." Then he walks away with a smirk on his face.

I must have a shocked expression, because Alice drags me away from the aisle and quickly goes to the Payer, a machine that scans your groceries and has you deposit your money in a little slot.

I am Avox mute, meaning it feels like someone has cut my tongue, making me unable to speak. I know Alice doesnt understand what Faustus is doing. He's using my obsession of The Hunger Games and morphing it into a nightmare. I feel like Katniss, not only watching out for my own life but also Peeta's. I am Katniss and Alice is Peeta. I must protect us both now.

Even when I arrive back at my room I have to take a hot shower to get my cold blood flowing again. When it finally does, I squat down on the floor with my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands.

What am I going to do?

The question floods all through me and suddenly I just want to die. But instead of thrusting a knife in my chest like my late mother, I end up slitting both my wrists. It's technically against my therapy I got in Jersey, but I'm too scared and out of options to obey it. The pain helps me hang onto reality.

After wrapping a towel around my middle I lay down on my bed reading Mockingjay. It's one of my favorites, since Katniss and Peeta end up together. I mean, I'm Team Peeta all the way; I really feel sorry for him. Being taken by the Capitol city and having his memories of his girl so distorted that he would attempt to kill her. Of course he never fully recovers from the poison he was given, but he and Katniss both grow together. For some strange reason The Hunger Games sounds a lot like my life at the moment. Faustus is Predident Snow, Hannah could be Plutarch Heavensbee while he works as a Head Gamemaker and not a rebel.

My nightmares are filled with gore and the things I'm actually afraid of (and there's not a lot of that). My mother laying dead in my first house, the hours if sexual abuse I was too young to understand. I bolt up screaming for my little brother not to leave me alone in this world.

The next morning Alice and I agree to meet up at Hyde Park in the night to discuss what we will do in our current situation. I would recommend going back to Jersey and taking our chances there; I mean, who knows what Faustus is capable of? For all I know he could be waiting for the right moment to stab me in the back and sending Hannah to take on Alice, who's body wouldn't be able to take even one punch. The thought makes a shiver tingle through my whole body and I quickly look behind me. Nope. No one there. But I know better. Malice has taught me to always look behind me and to never trust anyone. The person who came up with malice must have not met Alice when the 'don't trust anyone' thing was made.

We meet up at noon at a small coffee shop. I sip my favorite frappaccino while Alice gulps down her strong black coffe. No one speaks.

Suddenly I break the silence. "What do you think he'll do?"  
"I honestly don't know. No ones ever done such an act of treachery, so I cant even imagine how he's been taking it. He doesn't like his power being questioned, though."  
"But I do that all the time!"  
"But your special. I don't know in what way, but the other workers are jealous of you. You make the most money, your the company favorite, and you upstage Mr. Faustus all the time. He tolerates it because you give him money."  
"We'll if you said he doesn't like his power being questioned, why would he let me smack talk him all the time?"  
"That's different. No one hears it. With this, well, he's a very prestigious man here in London. People will start to think he lets his workers take advantage of him. And he can't let that happen."

The silence falls on us again and we sip our coffees without speaking. There is no need for words at this time.

When I arrive home-I mean, my room-Alice sends me a message on my CCD. "Night meet is cancelled." I ponder on why Alice would cancel so suddenly, and early, but I guess it gives me some time to myself. Good. Better to go out at night than slitting my wrists again.

I go back to Hyde Park in the evening and sit on a bench, envying the children playing innocently on the jungle gym. Why couldn't my childhood be like that? Just me and my innocent mind playing a game of hide and seek? Instead I've been sexually abused and work as a prostitute. Nice life I have.

I must stay hours because when I run back home the sky is dark and no one seems to be awake. I faintly try to remember a shortcut Alice explained to me.

I stomp on the gravel when the first hand clamps tightly around my mouth, the second on my middle, and I'm pushed to the dirt. Shock takes over, but before I can run away, the person sits on my thighs with its hand still clamped around my mouth. The second moves away from my middle and locks around my throat in seconds, silencing the scream that was about to erupt from my vocal chords. I'm twisted painfully to my stomach and can hear the rustling of clothes; mine are thrown off and pulled down. The second I realize what's going on is when the erection slams into me with enormous force.

My scream is suppressed, leaving me feeling so much in pain I wonder if I'm bleeding. The person is on top of me, I'm now informed its a male, and is thrusting like there is no tomorrow. Not likely I'll get another one of those anyway.

After minutes of gruff pants and hyperventilating I feel the male climax deep inside of me. A shout tries desperately to come out from me, but I'm overcome with a new terror when the male stands up and points his gun at my head.

The voice that sounds so familiar says "It's time to die, Alois." I'm ready to feel the bullet penetrate my skull when another person bolts in front of me, hands and feet spread.

"No! Don't you dare kill him!"

I hear a gunshot and expect the person to die, but it stands its ground and takes out a gun of its own. I bury my face in the dirt and sob while I fell the vibrations of the rapist falling to the ground. I'm lifted to my feet like a rag doll.

"Let's go." I see the boy, dark hair, blood red eyes, black...wings?  
"Go? Go where?" I reply shakily, my voice hoarse.  
"My place. Get on my back."  
"Huh? Wha-!" I'm thrown onto the boy's back and suddenly we're flying. At least, I think we're flying. The horrible pain and paranoia might be going to my head. But the boy carries me to a huge house with solid gold doors.

The last thing I remember is collapsing on a soft leather couch.

A/N: WAAAAH! Okay, give me fifteen reviews and I'll continue. Im so sorry Alois :(


	6. Chapter 6

Yay! We finally get to meet Ciel! YES! Like I said, I was crying while writing the last chapter. I still feel bad :'( But now we get to meet Ciel (he is SO ooc!) so yeah, enjoy! :D

_Chapter_ _6_

"GOOD MORNING GORGEOUS!"

I bolt up from the satiny sheets. Sunlight streaks the mauve curtains and I see a girl with long red hair and razor sharp teeth. She's disgustingly hideous as her mouth breaks into a huge smile.

"Who are you?"  
"My name's Grell Sutcliffe! Grim Reaper and Sebastian fan girl! Tee hee!"  
"...okay. Grell was your name? That's a weird name for a girl."  
"You think I'm a girl?"  
"Y-Yes. You are one, right?"  
"Actually...no. But thank you for thinking that!" Grell hops off the bed with a clap of his hands and dashes out of the room.

After the shock of the person named 'Grell', I finally register where I am. A huge room with carpeted floors, a huge bathroom with glittering lights, a walk in closet. And this is what I can see from the bed.

My thoughts wander to the event that happened in what I presume to be last night. The...the...I can't even say the name of it. When I move under the sheets, I feel a striking pain at my back. A small cry escapes my mouth and I fall onto a fluffy pillow.  
Suddenly the gold doors open and I immediately brace myself for a hit; it takes a while to remember that I've been rescued by this person.

He has striking teal hair and blue eyes. Well, one of them, the other is covered by a black eyepatch thing. With his long eyelashes and kind smile, I can't help thinking about how attractive he looks.

"Hi. You must be the person who r-rescued me." I'm trying to sound kind but my nerves are getting the best of me.

"Yes, I'm Ciel Phantomhive. Sorry about that...thing in your room." I can hear Grell yelling from the other room, "Hey!"  
"That's okay, he didn't hurt me."  
"Thank goodness. Nevertheless, you shouldn't be sat upon. Sebastian checked you over; you've got a lot of bruises and your backside was ejecting blood. It was a little gross, I must admit, but that man is a genius."

All I do is nod. Then I sneak a glance at my arms and legs. Purple spots cover them all over. Flashbacks of Earl Trancy and prostitues make me shiver.  
Ciel walks towards me and puts his hand to my cheek; testing it I guess."Let me be the first to say that I am truly sorry. How paranoid you must feel. Tell me, are you functioning nicely?"  
"Oh yes, th-thanks."  
"Your very welcome. I'll send in Sebastian to give you some breakfast in bed." Ciel flashes me a grin and closes the door behind me.  
That's when the flashbacks start. They always happen when I least expect it, and they come hard. I put my hands to my head and hunch my back; they keep flowing for a couple of minutes but they're so terrible. How many times have I watched Luka die? My mother stabbing herself? A particularly hard pounding from Earl Trancy? A S&M situation when I was tyed with rope and taken advantage of in an embarrassing manner?This time a new nightmare arrives: my rape. My back grinding upon the dirt, the hands clamped on my throat and mouth, the horrible pain coming from the thrusts that seemed to never end. I must look on the edge of a mental breakdown, because a man with black hair and a black tailcoat even looks startled. I look at him intensely and he gives me a small smile. His black hair is tied in a red bow while the ends curl on his shoulder, his eyes are blood red, and he's got some impressive features.

"Hello, my name is Sebastian. How may I serve you, sir?" The male kneels down before me. Unfamiliar with this respect, I end up blushing and stammering with my words.  
"U-um, can I have an omelet? Er, please?"  
"Of course. I shall get it right away." He leaves and I sigh. I end up taking a short nap before I eat breakfast. The males cooking is amazing, never have I ever eaten something so delicious. It's like he's got magic powers or something.  
Ciel comes in a little later along with Sebastian. They try to check my body but I end up sobbing about how soiled I feel, despite being a prostitute. Ciel then shushes me gently and I rock into oblivion once more.

~Evening~

When I awake once more, I'm put on a wheelchair and am rolled to a huge dining room with a long gold table, plush purple seats also with gold, and a gold chandelier with crystal lightbulbs. Super fancy to my usual motels.

I'm speechless, but no words are needed. My platter is filled with lamb stew with plums, mashed potatoes with a heaping waterfall of gravy, and a huge triple deckered cake for desert. It takes all my strength not to dive in. I then realize I haven't eaten since the...  
"Dig in." Ciel says with a grin, "If you want secounds, don't be afraid to ask." So hungry from hours without food, I dig in my food before I realize I'm eating with my hands and stuffing by the mouthful. I blush and start using my knife and fork.

After all the delicious food, I wander to my room to finish reading Mockingjay; I then decide against it because Mockingjay was the book I was reading before the...I still can't say the word. Anyway I only sit in my room and think. Think. Think. Think. Then a sudden craving hits and I rake the carpets looking for my precious anti-depressants, the one drug that helps me hang onto reality. At least if I don't have a tourniquet or a knife.  
I drag myself to the mirror and look at my appearance. Big purple bruises cover my white skin and my eyes look bloodshot. Small clumps of dirt cover my blonde hair and my blue eyes shine with fear.

For some reason I grab a pen on the nightstand and write three words on both palms of my hands. Someone save me, please.  
This calms me a bit but then the cravings hit again and I'm pounding on the door repeatedly. Someone pushes it open quickly and I see Ciel with a frantic look on his face.

"What! What happened!?"  
"I-I-I jus~"  
"Do you need something? A medication?"  
"M-My anti-depressants."  
"Oh, that's no problem. I'll make Sebastian give them to you as soon as possible."  
"Oh, th-thank you." Ciel leaves the room and shuts the golden doors closed. I find myself panting, just waiting ever so patiently for those pills.

Finally they come in a small tray. I actually have to stop myself from swallowing them dry to take a sip of water. Never knew how drugged I was. Maybe I'll be like Katniss, only being able to sleep from the dullness of morphling.

"S-Sebastian? That's your name, right?"  
"Yes. Is there something you desire, my lord?"  
"Um...no. Thank you for the offer, though." He smiles and heads out the door.  
Immediately the drugs kick in. I sigh and flop onto my bed. I almost feel...well, happy. Almost. I mean, I love being here with Ciel and Sebastian, but the only reason I am here is because Faustus...raped me. I think the word and start shuddering. But I guess I need to accept it, and the sooner the better.

Finally I work up the nerve to finish Mockingjay, even though I know what happens. Katniss and Peerta live almost happily ever after, and the Games are destroyed. Something about it comforts me. Maybe I'll get to live happily ever after. Although that's not likely. Ever since Luka's death, I've never been happy. The closest I ever got was when Alice and I started getting closer. But it seems like such a long time ago.  
Then a thought pounds into my brain and slams me right into the bed. Alice. Was she tortured? Abused? I refuse to think the last one, but it make me tremble with terror. Was she raped too? Just thinking of it makes me want to puke. And I do. Not on the plush embroidery, but I make it to the gold sink and retch until acid starts seeping from my mouth and nose. Then I just collapse on the bathroom floor.

~Morning~

I come too on my soft bed with an IV plugged into the crook of my arm. The sunlight makes me squint and I feel soreness all over.  
Three funny servants have been catering to my every whim since the minute I woke up. In fact, they were here the minute my eyes first blinked. A girl with red pigtails and glasses, a young blonde boy, and a tall blonde man with a small goatee. They've all got a great sense of humor and always cheer me up when I feel rotten. They're usually with me all the time.

Apparently the fall broke my leg. I can still feel the pain from the bending of it, especially on the knee. I've been given anesthetics to ease the pain, but it can't compare to the pain in my heart. Alice.

The drug being shot into my veins dulls all emotions, so instead of feeling a stab of sorrow or worry, I feel nothing. As if in a monochrome world where people feel nothing. It's like hollowness. Dead.

A knock comes at the door and I say "Come in." Ciel is there, holding my tray with tonight's dinner. Ribs drowning in barbecue sauce. I look at his face and see that powder has been dabbed on quickly. It covers what I'm sure are dark circles and fatigue. Have I been such a worrisome that he can't even sleep?

"I've brought your dinner." He says cheerily.  
"Thanks. Is Sebastian okay?"  
"Huh?"  
"Sebastian. Your butler. He's not here, so is he sick?"  
"Oh, um, he went to get some groceries." Ciel bows slightly and then leaves the room.  
Was it just me or did his eyes flash red for a second when he entered? Maybe I'm seeing things, or maybe I'm having hallucinations. But I could've sworn his eyes turned a bloody red for just a second. And Sebastian has those bloody eyes too. But I have to stop thinking because I don't need another shocker to damage my fragile view of my situation.

That night when info to sleep, I hear a noise that sounds so familiar I almost want to get up and see who made it. Then again. It's a distinctive moan that's sounds like me when I was on the job. But perhaps it was only an echo.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Oooooh! Cliffhanger on the last chapter! Yeah don't worry, Alois will find out Ciel is a demon eventually, but not now. Now lets get to the story!

Chapter 7

"Stop! Don't!" I bolt up and find myself on a soft bed with my leg in a cast; I wipe cold sweat off of my forehead. Another dream about the rape. When I look around, I find a hand stroking my back and immediately freeze, until I recognize Ciel sitting next to me. His eyes look puffy and heavy dark circles cloud his youthful look.

"Are you alright Alois?" He asks.  
"Y-Yes I'm fine, just a bad dream."  
"Sounded more like a nightmare by the way you were screaming. Good thing I was here to keep you sleeping."

Guilty floods me. "I'm sorry, they've been coming ever since my brother and parents died. And now they're all about my...my..."

"Shh, it's alright. I'm here to help you. Whatever you need, just ask and I'll bring it immediately. Oh, and these are for you." Ciel holds up a gorgeous bouquet of red roses. "A get-well present."

"Oh...no ones ever given me anything before." Ciel gives me another gift. A kiss on the cheek. Then he waves goodbye and leaves the room.

I can't believe it's taken me this long. It started with the stuttering, the blushes, but it's so painfully obvious now that we're growing closer.

I think I'm in love with Ciel

This makes a warm fuzzy feeling grow in my chest were my heart should be. For the first time in years, I really do feel happy. Joyful. Loved. It makes me smile like I used to with my parents such a long time ago.

But then something else takes over, a sudden lust to be with him. It's a huge wanting and it floods through my body so much that I end up masterbating to it. Wow, no matter what, I'll always be a huge damn pervert. I can't really help it. I mean, I even watched this old video called Boku No Pico to get some techniques. But this is different; this is what they call love.

I don't know what to do. What would happen if I told him? Would he like me back? Or just ignore it and stay in awkwardness? I don't even know what his sexual preference is, if any. That kiss felt good and real, but was it really a sign of affection? Don't European people kiss each other on the cheek all the time?  
Frazzled, I fold my hands on my head and fight the headache brewing in my temples.

~Morning~

When I come to, I'm wheeled by Ciel's three servants into the dining room. Said boy and Sebastian are there politely waiting for me to arrive.

"I'm starving!"

I flick my head around and see Grell standing in the corner with a fork and knife in his hands. "Of course I love bacon and eggs, but what I'm really craving is SEBASTIAN!" Just as Grell is arm length from tackling him, Sebastian holds his arm out and stops Grell with his fingertips on the redheads forehead. His eyes flash a glittering red.  
"Oh my dear Grell, must I kill you again?" I glance at Ciel and he's looking at Sebastain angrily.

"_Sebastian_."  
"No please! Don't kill me!"  
"Very well. But get out before I really do kill you."  
"Okay! I will!" Grell runs quickly out of an open window before I even blink.

The two then sit to acknowledge me. "Sorry," says Ciel, "that pestering Grim Reaper has been bugging us ever since my Aunt's death. He's hopelessly in love with Sebastian."  
"Um...what's a Grim Reaper?"  
"It's a magical being that ranks between human and god." says Sebastain. "They reap the souls of the dead, hence the name Grim Reaper, except this one has nothing better to do and chases me."

"Oh." What else is there to say? But this mystical world of gods and Grim Reapers intrigues me. "How did you know?"  
"Hm?" Ciel looks at me politely.  
"I mean, how do you know all that?"  
I'm not sure if its my imagination, but I could've sworn I saw Ciel swallow. He glances at Sebastian, who in turn gives me a smirk.  
"We've been studying these things for quite some time now. Very fascinating. Except for that hunk of junk."

Ciel gives me a curious face, one I usually give to people to see how they react to something; suspicion bubbles inside me, but I cleverly hide it. "Oh, that sounds cool. Maybe I should go with you guy-"

"Master Trancy, it's time to take your medicine." I turn around and see Maylene, the funny maid, with her arms extended to help me up. I stretch into her arms and she carries me to my room, gives me a dose of morphing in a tube in my arm, and lets me be.

Okay, what just happened? It seemed like Ciel was trying to avoid the topic of Grim Reapers, and waited for my reaction. And he got mad at Sebastian when his eyes flashed a glittery red. What was that anyway? And what's up with the whole Grim Reaper thing? Then there's Maylene interrupting me to take my medicine. Was that real or staged? It might have been real, she doesn't seem malicious in character; but she could have been obeying Ciel's orders. I can't sort it out. In a short while I'm wondering why Ciel saved me in the first place. It all seems strange, and soon I'm clamping my palms into my temples to retch out an answer.

I wake the next day to find a yellow sticky note pinned on my dresser with a smudge of something red. M3ET M3 !N TH3 N!GHT MY R00M. N33D 2 T LK T0 Y0U. (Meet me in the night at my room. Need to talk to you.)

At first I'm frightened, because I have a severe phobia of the dark. Then curiosity floods in. Why would we meet? For what? What is there to say? I don't know. But whatever it is, I decide to keep a knife in my pocket in case someone who would love to kill me wrote it.  
All day I'm a mess. Not eating, slitting my wrists again, begging for a bigger dose of morphine, crying, forgetting my anti-depressants. These are all side effects of terror, at least in my case. Because I take terror to the extreme. It isn't until it's the dead of the night when I'm seriously considering killing myself.

But I still drag myself up at midnight and wander around the dark hallways, lead by candlelight. Billions of thoughts zoom at a zillion miles per hour as I tread by. And when the arms grab me and drag me into a room, I almost scream; almost meaning my mouth is clamped down with a hand smelling of soap.

Then the door shuts closed and the lights go on. But just as I'm about to cry for help, I see Ciel and suppress it. But then a new terror seeps in, because this is the male who saved me, and he could just as well be the male who kills me. But I don't see a knife anywhere, and I don't think he would anyway, so I let my muscles relax.  
"Let's make this fast. I'm not any normal human being, alright? I'm a...a...just let me show you!" His eyes flash blood red and he swoops up in the air. Black wings grow on his shoulder blades and fangs appear on his teeth.

And that's all I see before I run for my life.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Ooh, you guys liked last chapter? Well here's chapter 8, so enjoy!

Chapter 8

Running. Running. Tick tock. This is a clock. The more time passes, the closer he is. Feet sore and legs numb. Keep running or the monster will get you. Is he a monster? Or someone to be loved? No time to think. Three letters. RUN.

I lock the door to my bedroom and lean my chair on it to block the doorknob. Then I just collapse on the bed and cry. Just when I had realized my feelings. Now this happens. What was he, anyway? An angel? The devil? A supernatural being? That explains his knowledge of Grim Reapers. How do I know if he's not one either?

But I can't figure this out right now. So I clutch on my pillow and fall asleep to happy dreams.

[Next Day]

I awaken to the bright sunshine streaming from the window pane. Grabbing my bathrobe, I slip into the shower and scrub soap all over my body and even shampoo my hair. I then dress in a robe and take a look in the mirror. Huge sapphire eyes like glassy mirrors into an unknown universe. Soft blonde hair like frolicking in a field of dandelions. I almost look without a care in the world.

But I know better.

A shiver trembles up my spine. At first I think it's the chill of the morning air, but then I realize it. I'm scared. No, thats the wrong word. Terrified out of my skull. What will I say at breakfast? Will he be there? Ciel. I cringe at the same and drown out all my emotions by taking a hit of morphine.

I was right, Ciel is not there when I arrive at the dining table. Only Sebastian sits all the way at the parallel end, the three funny servants keeping the platters full. Thanks to years of cleaning my face and body of emotions, I appear almost normal. Good. No one has to know how my world has gotten so twisted beyond recognition.

"Hm, I wonder where the young master is." I bolt up and see Sebastian using a fork and knife on an omelet. "Have you any idea Alois?"

A chill makes me shiver and I silently curse myself. "No. Is he sick?"

"Let's just say he's a bit under the weather." Then he stays silent.

What does 'let's just say' mean? Has something happened? A punishment for telling me they're demons? But from who? I feel a knot in my stomach and twist a roll around and around in my hands. But my appetite is gone.

"I'm going to take a walk." I get up and am about to walk out the door when a hand grabs my arm, making me gasp. Sebastian is looking at me with a smile and his eyes closed. "Don't wander too far. Wouldn't want to risk it again." Then he lets go and wanders into the hall.

It takes all my strength not to collapse into a mental breakdown in the doorway. Luckily I make it outside before I'm lying in the fetal position in the dirt, hands clamped on my head. It's like I have to hold it together so I don't shatter into a million pieces. Once again I am Katniss, trying to stay in one piece for the rebellion.

I can't break now. I don't feel anything though because morphine dulls all my emotions until I am nothing. And I'm going to need that.

I badly need someone to discuss this with, but there's nobody I trust around here. Come to think of it, the only person I truly trust is Alice. But it's unlikely I'll ever see her again. If I could trust Ciel I would tell him. Tell him what? That I'm not sure of my feelings? Whether he's my friend or enemy? Wonder how the person who saved my life would feel about that.

Then something happens so unexpectedly and harsh, I can't even begin to explain it. As I'm walking towards my room, I bump into Ciel, and turn away running. But he grabs me and leads me to a room, locking the door. His hand goes to my mouth, blocking my scream, and he speaks kindly but firm.

"Listen! Please don't be afraid if me, I'm your friend. I didn't get killed by your rapist because I'm immortal. But I'd never hurt you. In fact I'd do the opposite, because...because...Alois Trancy I love you!" Then his hand lets go if my mouth as my lips crash with his.

A wave of shock tingles through me. I'm not here in London, I'm playing with Luka, I'm happy with my parents, I'm enjoying a nice dinner with Alice. Kind of like my life flashing before my eyes. But I'm not dead, no; that's too merciful.

When he releases I'm gasping for air, and his eyes are that demon red. I look at him lovingly and grab onto him tight. Not even morphing can dull the love I feel now. It's so exorbitant, so plentiful, and the reality kicks in.

I'm entranced by this demon.

I'm tangled in its knots, not struggling to be free, but enchanted with this person. A bond ties us together so tight no force of good or evil could ever break it. A nurturing kind of love that makes you break in goosebumps and makes sweat trickle down your face. The passion, the certainty, the love. Four letters I never gave thought to but full my waking hours and dreams. Love. Ciel. I love him.

Once I let go I stare into his blood red eyes without fear. No, they're not bloody anymore. They're as red as a romantic rose, as a heart filled with warmth, as the beautiful sunset approaching rapidly. There's no more blood.

For this moment I'm happy. Ever since all these deaths and disappearances I've never been able to love. But this person makes me want to hold onto him and never let go. And I wouldn't for a million dollars.

"I love you too Ciel. Can we be together?"

A troubling look arises, and then I'm scared, but it doesn't last long. "Of couse." He says in such a warm tone. So loving and kind I embrace him once more, once again with our arms entangled. 'Never again' I think. I'll never leave him again.

It seems like hours later until we finally let go for real, kissing goodbye and me going to my room. Immediately I do some spring cleaning. Knives go out the window, morphine back in the IV thing, and happiness moving into my heart. Who knew cleaning could be such fun?

Then it's lunch and I go into the dining room to eat. Ciel is already there, and he's beaming. But a quick glance from Sebastian makes his expression go serious and I wonder why. Then I look at the said man and see that he is wearing glasses.

As if sending my question, Sebastian says, "I'm also Ciel's teacher. I wear the glasses because I cannot see near." I just nod and take my seat. An elegant plate of pasta is on the table with some wine in a glass. I skip the wine and dig into the Italian dish.

"So Alois, how are you liking it here?" I look up and see Sebastian grinning, the same way he was when I was about to take a walk. It almost scares me.

"I've liked it a lot." A grateful answer without overdoing it.

"Have you now?" Sebastian giggles. "And how are you liking it, Grell?"

"DAMMIT!" I jump and turn to the right. To my surprise the redhead is jumping up and down in anger. "How the hell do you do that Sebas-chan?!"

The butler gives a sweet-as-honey smile. "I've told you to never call me that again Grell. Will you give me the pleasure of beating you senseless?"

"Sebastain!" Ciel springs up from his seat. "That is enough! You will not do this while our guest is present!"

Flattery is replaced with fear as the older demon growls, slinking out of the kitchen. But before he goes out completely he says, "Meet me for some after school tutoring later Ciel." And then he's gone.

I turn to Ciel and see him swallow and take small bites of pasta and chicken in fettuccine sauce. He looks both ways before grabbing the side of my head and whispering into my ear. "I'll talk to you later, Ciel. Oh and please don't show any affection when my butler is present."

This takes me back with surprise but I cover it up with a laugh. "Why ever not?"

He leans in and whispers again. "Because Sebastian would...get worried. He's always worried ill get hurt."

"Well okay then." I smile and head towards my room, quietly locking the door and collapsing on the soft bed.

There was hesitation. In his voice. Is he hiding something? He immediately stopped smiling when Sebastian came in; then that growl...was it to Ciel? Is there something going on? I can't ask him, he'll think I don't trust him. And I do. I just don't trust the butler. It's always the butler.

Frustrated, I clamp the pillow on top of my head and think. Think. Think. But we're happy, right? We are happy. I suppose he'll tell me when he's ready.

You have no idea how wrong I was.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Sorry guys, parents are being tough on my laptop to I have to REALLY hide my stories from them and...yeah. Anyways, uh, here's Save Me Please for you! Sorry I'm being lazy and writing Yugioh crap instead of this. Idk I've kind of lost my inspiration for this story and I was almost going to quit it, but now I'm back! So enjoy! :D

_Chapter 9_

Tonight I have two dreams. One turns out to be real, although I'm not sure which one.

On the first one I'm standing alone in a dark room. It looks like the dining room, only with no table and there aren't any decorations; except one side of the room that's made up of all window. I walk over and lean my face into the glass, staining it with my nose, and I'm terrified by what I see. Every person I love being drowned in fire. Mom, Dad, Luka, Alice, even my dear Ciel is being tortured in the flames. I erupt with a scream and lean in closer, too close because the glass breaks and I collapse three stories onto the hard dirt. Shaking, I manage to get myself up and run as fast as I can towards the flames. I trip once over a rock and plummet to the ground. I look up at the red fire and let the tears roll down my face; I can't possibly let my loved ones be killed, so I dash as fast as my shaking legs can take me and stop once I approach the flames. Suddenly gunshots are heard, making my heart pound into my chest. I turn to the side and see two dark figures with rifles shooting my loved ones repeatedly, as if to torture them in some form.

"Stop! Why are you doing this!?" I demand, but it seems like they don't hear me. I only hear crazy maniacal laughter erupting from their mouths as the shots increase; it's like their bullets are endless and keep going. The flames grown even higher, higher than the whole mansion, then suddenly cease and die down. The two figures are still black as night but their laughter floods out like a crashing waterfall. Not to mention they sound so familiar, though I can't place who's voices they belong to.

In a second the huge flames dissolve into a flicker and then they're gone; the two people are gone too, so I crawl on my knees towards the black earth (I fell a short while ago). The dirt is scorching and dead bodies are laying everywhere. I pick one up and see, oh my Lord, my dear Ciel is lying dead on the warm crisp dirt. I hold him close to me and carry the limp boy in my arms. _My love...my heart...my koi...my everything...why must fait take thee away from me..._

I cry. I slam my face into the dirt while holding my love in my arms. Why? I look up into the night sky and see not even one cloud, and the moon looks down at me with a grave face as if it knows how I feel. I sob so loudly it could wake the dead. But the two killers are still there, cackling like fiends, as I cry over my true love. If I had a weapon I'd have beat these two already; but why do they sound so familiar? Suddenly the glow of the moonlight shines over them, like a spotlight, and I'm so shocked to see the faces. S-Sebastian...and..._Claude_. I've never used his first name ever, so it takes me a while to register that Claude is Faustus, the one who threatened me and Alice. And he's with Sebastian, Ciel's butler. He was supposed to help him! How could he kill him!?

Their laughter is so loud it hurts my ears; I flinch when I feel a cold limb stroke my cheek. It's Ciel, as if back from the dead. "A-A-Alois..." He seems like he's trying to get something out. After a few gasps and hard intakes of air he says his final words: "I love you." And then he's out like a light.

I stare into his lifeless eyes and start sobbing my hardest again. I'm screaming "Why!? WHY!?" At the top of my lungs and my throat aches but so does my heart. I then hear a click and turn around, only to look into the face of death itself as the bullet penetrates my chest and I fall to my death.

-(Dream #2)-

I wake up in my soft bed, pleasures are streaming through my veins. I turn over and moan; something is making me feel so good and I'm loving every second of it. That is, until I look down and see the man who ruined my life: Earl Trancy. He's stroking my inner thigh, over my short shorts, and I can't help but let out a quiet moan. Of course my inner hatred takes over and I've got a knife in him before I even climax, which I do seconds later, covering me in shame. I'm flooded with that feeling while I was Trancy's sex slave. I remember I'd always have to do everything for him if you get my drift, and whenever he'd pound into me it felt so good, it unlocked my hidden pleasure, and I would always feel so ashamed of myself once I had climaxed onto the Earl and myself as well. It's that sinking feeling you get when you do something you regret; it's like something is weighing you down and pulling you to your own grave.

Satisfied with seeing him dead once again, I curl up in my sheets and prepare to sleep; a noise startles me. It sounds like something has fallen and broke. But who would be awake at...two in the morning? Could it be a burglar? Someone getting a drink while accidentally dropping a cup? Grabbing my knife, I creep out of my room and slowly tread down the dark hallways. Little sounds are coming from somewhere distant and I'm tempted to follow it. Perhaps it can be of use. I slowly walk through the halls and the sound gets louder; I'm getting closer. I'm surprised when I see that the sounds are coming from Ciel's room. I wonder what's going on. Suddenly bad thoughts plague me. What _is_ going on? Is there someone here? A burglar? A serial killer? A...rapist? Not wanting to find out when it's too late, I turn the doorknob to find it locked. Repeatedly I pound on the door. "Ciel! Ciel!" I'm so worried sick and I'm so terribly scared.

When I see that no one is going to open, I take out a pin from my pocket and attempt to pick the lock. It takes a while but I finally manage to do it. Swooshing the door open, I look in the room to find my worst nightmare coming true.

Ciel. Is in bed. Sebastian. Is inside him. Claude. _Claude_. Has a look of pure bliss as Ciel is forced to suck him off. I'm in so much shock I'm in another subconscious part I never knew I had. I'm trying to think happy thoughts...happy thoughts...but it's not working! I just keep staring. Ciel looks so terrified and a huge pain overcomes my heart. At first I think I've been shot but I'm still breathing, so that must be a good sign. What am I talking about!? There's no good sign! I've got to help!

"HEY!" Obviously that gets the attention of the two men. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!?"

They both look at me with such fear I think that I really must have scared them. But Sebastian gives me that smile that strikes terror in me. In a sickly voice he tells me, "We're corrupting the only thing you have left." And with that they start thrusting and rutting and rubbing and sucking onto him that I'm truly disgusted. And this is coming from the person that killed someone with his own bare hands.

Suddenly Ciel's eyes turn a rose red...but wait. That's not rose color. That's...blood? He looks at me with an evil look I have _never_ seen from him. "Alois Trancy...tonight you've lost everything and I'll see to it that you never find true happiness ever again." I throw up on the soft carpet when I see all three of them climax at the same time. Once I've flushed out all my puke, Ciel grabs a gun from the dresser drawer and points it at me. "I've never loved you, I used you to play with your feelings. I find that so _arousing_. And I had these two to help me win. Face it Alois, your a little whore-bitch who deserves to be in hell. And you'll be there right-" He pulls the trigger and I collapse, clamping my chest to make this pain stop. Not the pain of the bullet, but such terrible emotional pain that a blood-stained tear makes its way down my face as I take my last breath of air...

A/N: Kay guys! Which one is real!? Well I'll give you a hint; one _is_ real, but certain parts of one of them is not real. Guess on the comments! (PS I'm not writing until I get 30 reviews! Okay bye guys! :D)


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